Take the time to be together in a calm supportive environment. Communicate with each other with guidance and mediation so that both of you can be heard and understood. Together we will find ways to give the attention and nurturing your relationship needs. Talk about sensitive issues in a safe setting, while being supported and guided.
When you come together with another human being and move past the beginning stages into the realm of true intimacy, issues come up, there is no avoiding it. Our patterns and family origin issues will play out.
It is through the exploration of our discomfort with each other that we often find our true heart and begin to have the kind of connection we have been longing for.
This is the work we will do. You will practice using new tools and skills that allow you to connect and work through issues, while being supported.
If you continue to turn away from the challenge of growing together, chances are you will just go out and find yourself in the same place with the next person, same issues different person. We come together to heal, to trust, to share our deep truths with another. We have to be willing to dig around in the mud a bit in order to find the gold that we all have within us.
Our sessions alone support our sessions together, it is a valuable part of the process.
I find that part of unraveling the dynamics of a relationship often takes some one-on-one focus. In this way we are able to uncover the underlying issues. In one-on-one sessions often times the client is less inhibited, expressing fears and frustrations that they may not feel comfortable sharing in front of their partner. Once attaining this information I am able to integrate it into the couples work, moving them beyond their fear-based reality.
We learn to listen deeply in an uninterrupted, supportive environment. Often times we discover that there are very old, deep seated, family of origin patterns at play.
Differentiate between what you truly desire and what your old habits are creating. Find what stands in the way of allowing you to understand and move beyond fear-based patterns.
Learn the art of self-reflection, and take responsibility for your part in the conflict, in my opinion, one of the most important life tools to be mastered.
In a nuclear family, there is a natural hierarchy. The parents are the authority and the children follow. Once you create a second family, there are split loyalties and the children are compromised.
I work with couples who face the challenges of integrating first and second families. Together, we will create boundaries and deal with difficult situations that may arise as we learn how to move forward.
My clients learn to use their new found skills and understanding to help heal the children they already have and integrate with the new family to make a healthy, blended family.
Our work together will strengthen your relationship with your new partner as with self-reflection we will manage the integration.
Oftentimes, I will meet with other members of the family: the grandparents, the children, or the in-laws, to help navigate this new unchartered territory for these families. In all cases, it takes everybody, all generations and those involved coming to the table with an inclusive attitude.
When first and second families work together to integrate, it adds more physical, mental and emotional resources that can contribute to the blended family in powerful ways. We can find support in surprising places and in surprising ways that can enrich each others’ lives.