Core responses to dysfunctional behavior:
Denying – ignoring the problem, hoping it will go away, encouraging others to deny the problem by making excuses for them and creating an environment that is focused on not upsetting them, even if it compromises others wellbeing as well as your own.
Enabling – inadvertently enabling by lying or denying the truth about what is really happening with them. Minimizing the damage from their behavior. Acting like your happy to be doing what they tell you to do. making excuses to cover up for the person so they don’t act out, or explaining why they are doing what they do i.e.… they had a hard childhood, they lost their job, their partner left them… their kids are difficult … whatever sounds like a good reason for everyone around them to feel bad for them or at least tolerate their behavior. Tolerating difficult behavior, becoming upset and punishing with others when they confront the behavior or if they react by refusing to go along with the abusive or controlling behavior.
Controlling – taking control of the user’s environment, in an attempt to make them stop acting out. Anticipating things that will upset them and trying to control everything around them. Ignoring the needs of others to always favor the one who is acting out.
Apathy – withdrawing, casting the abuser out of the family events, giving up, giving in, acting as if you don’t understand why others feel so upset, becoming numb to the issues, joining in and doing your best to align your attitude to the abuser, therefor becoming just like them.